NEWER Industries will bring our layout for no real reason other that boredom to different shows, just so we can play with our trains.

NEWER Industries and its members will enjoy playing with our trains.

It is up to those in the club to pick on people not in the club, by pointing or staring. This includes, but is not limited to "Disco Man", "Bed-head Mullet Boy", "Steve", and "Wheel Chair Nazi".

The members of this club will go out to eat during shows, at the days end when away from home, to places we don’t always go to in our own hometowns.

We are obligated, but not required to take pictures of members sleeping during shows.

We can make fun of Todd’s brass. We can make fun of Todd’s grain train. We can make fun of Todd’s donation box. We can make fun of Todd. We can make Todd fun. Hmmm.

Members of the club can elect any member at any time during shows to have a birthday. This can be used at restaurants.

Todd must, at some point in time before leaving to go setup and returning from the show, get injured, or be sick… not his choice.

At least on thing must go wrong during the show. This can be anything from a turnout that previously worked without any problems suddenly becoming impossible to move, then suddenly working again, to the entire layout shorting out for 5 minutes, with swarms of people and show judges watching, as all of the mainlines stop, the DCC starts beeping, the breakers for the mainlines pop, everyone starts trying to get trains moving by turning the throttles up, flipping random switches and turnouts, unplugging things, and cutting wires, all the time small children are listening us come up with new words in a desperation to not actually swear, only to find a pair of scissors on the track, and now we have to flip a million switches back, and suddenly all of the trains start crashing into each other and all we can do is blame Leroy, even though he’s working today.

I like having 10 rules. So for this one I’ll just type a bunch of stuff here so it looks like there is a 10^th rule, when in reality they aren’t one. I mean ten. Spell/grammar checker for some reason makes me put "aren’t" in the previously previous sentence.

Always be alert.

Always stay awake.

Always bring a weapon.

Always strike the enemy.

Always avoid being struck by the enemy.

Always bring a more effective weapon than your enemy.

Always learn from your mistakes.

Always learn form your enemies mistakes.

Always set the battle field on fire in medieval times, that’s what they do, ya know.

Always hit below the belt if it works, to hell with honor, this is combat!!

Jim Zabel is to be known as "Jimmy the Z", or just "Jimmy". Refrain from calling him "guy older than God", "Noah’s older brother", "Man who invented dirt". That’s my job (Jorb!*)

Make Dick and Carroll Foreen laugh at dinner. It’s fun.

Leroy is to be called "La Roy" from time to time.

The hobby shops will only be know by codenames, Engine house Services is to be called "Paul’s"; NEW Hobbies is to be called "Jacks", Dollies", or Jack and Dollies"; Walthers is to be called "Backorder World", "Wally’s World", or "Wally’s House of Backorders".

Only experienced goof offs should be allowed to run silly trains of "shorty" cars. An inexperienced goof off might have problems with the humor. Only qualified starship captains should pilot warp-driven trains, and only engineers should design warp-driven diesels. The same goes for diesel prop engines, or bi-trains. If you need to ask, you don’t really want to know. Honest.

All modules should a ratio of police to civilians of 1 to 10. This way riots don’t break out.

Let Paul drive. He’ll get you there faster. Really.

Spaghetti Station is not close to any place. As a matter of fact, it’s not really in this world; it’s in the twilight zone. Pretty sure.

Strong Bad references will be made between Mike and Chris. If anyone else wishes to understand "Eee-maiilll" or "Stron – Bah ", or even "Trogdor the Burninator" they’ll just have to find out for themselves at www.homestarrunner.com .

And last, but not least, all rules must be ten in number. The number of rules shall be ten, no more, no less. Ten shall be the number of rules, and the number of rules shall be ten. Eleven rules thou shall not have, neither have thou nine rules, excepting thou then proceed to ten rules. Twelve rules is right out. Once the tenth rule be written, being the tenth rule, thou shall stop writing rules and write no more. So it has been written.